And we probably should have known how this was going to go, based on this, because right off the bat [shows clip] you can see here Trump looks over at Putin as they sit down in front of the media and gives him a little wink. Two weeks after I had photos taken of my baby, I returned to the studio to view the pictures on a colour monitor. Student: A drinking problem. "Ken Jeong's favourite joke, "I go through customs and the guy asks me, 'Do you have any alcohol? I'm just honoured to be witnessing your process?' The game was valid for the third round of the Guanabara Cup, in Maracanã, in Rio de Janeiro. Funny Jokes in Hindi & English Language:- Who will argue with the statement that short funny jokes are becoming extremely popular and widespread these days?Practically all sources of mass media are overloaded with them. And get a bone density test. Fritzchen, or "Little Fritz" is a fictional mischievous little boy whose … We'll see about that." '""Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom. • Humour – funny product labels. '""I'm not willing to say how I feel about anything. “Hello,” said the agent, “I’m looking for a man called Murphy.”, “Well you’re in luck,” said the farmer. Give me my scotch!” The flight attendant rushes over with their drinks. Unlimited access to 28000+ back issues “My dog is so smart,” says the first owner, “that every morning he waits for the paperboy to come around. – Demetri Martin"My wife said, 'Rob, I'd love to have children.' They can make anyone laugh aloud. Snake 2: I don’t know. “and the one on the right is where I go to church.”, The man sneers, “That’s the church I used to attend!”, “Doctor, I think my wife is getting hard of hearing.”, “There’s a simple test you can run to see how bad the problem is: Start out 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone say something and see if she hears you. The lifting, the carrying, the mopping up of the spillages? So good night. He promptly sticks his head out the window and says: “Yes, no, yes, no, yes, no, yes, no.”. You go to a party, there’s nobody there. $10 fine. And that's just when you're making love trying to have the child." “I’ll call you back when you’re alone.” – Jim Pietsch in The New York City Cab Driver’s Joke Book, “If I pay $40 for a haunted house I better die.” – @hodgesboi15, “Have children while your parents are young enough to take care of them.” – Rita Rudner, A mom texts, “Hi! Trying to dampen his out look, the psychiatrist took him to a room piled to the ceiling with horse manure. In Germany, we don't have to swear. 'Would you buy a second-hand car from this man?' His mother took up the cause and within minutes found the lens. There, on the front cover, was a red circle around my misspelled name. “Ugh!” the student groaned. "And you talk!" “I’m having a heart attack,” cries the woman. They get really upset. He immediately smells alcohol on the priest’s breath and notices an empty wine bottle in the car. “You cheap bum!” she yells. I thought, 'This could be interesting.'" Here are the funniest court cases of all time! The idea came after the Edinburgh Fringe Festival hit the headlines for having a particularly good joke of the year: “I’ve just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. The man replied, 'I know. Why would you post that sign?” “Before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him.” Submitted by L.B. The blacksmith instructed the boy, “When I take the shoe out of the fire, I’ll lay it on the anvil; and when I nod my head, you hit it with this hammer.”. You’re not supposed to turn your back on the Queen, or pour ketchup in her tea, or take the hat off her head and swat a fly with it. If you like these short jokes, check out more funny puns here. Violators will be extracted.” Submitted by Helen McNair, My father-in-law, Paul, lives on a farm near Wynyard, Saskatchewan. Then they responded, confused, “Excuse me, ma’am, but you’re at Tim Hortons.” Submitted by Wendy Singedonk. Don’t miss our side-splitting roundup of hilarious Canadian jokes. Look no further than our pick of the best jokes in the world. As they hurtle towards the ground, the parrot says to the terrified man, “Wow, that took a lot of guts for a guy with no wings.” Anonymous. The young monk gets worried and goes down to look for him. Son, what do IDK, LY and TTYL mean?” He texts back, “I don’t know, love you and talk to you later.” The mom replies, “It’s OK, don’t worry about it. Looking at the car, he was astounded to see that the elderly woman behind the wheel was knitting. “We missed the R! So I was making love to this woman in the ass...", "I went to the doctor and he said, 'You've got hypochondria.' Why did I have to learn what a rhombus is? “Does that mean I get to keep the money?” Submitted by Lawrence Adelson, Two guys are out drinking when one of them falls off his bar stool and lies motionless on the floor. “That’s Mum’s side.”. Thanks for watching. Later that evening, he parked his pickup in front of Sarah’s house and left it there all night.
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